Intriguing chinese music DVDs for kids

Yesterday while playing with Aidan. I thought I should be encouraging him to learn another language apart from English. So, I finally took out the Chinese DVDs that my parents had brought back from Taiwan. The first box of DVD is just CDs with children's songs. The music videos consists of animals walking around in the background with karaoke like teletext. This triggered some sort of deja vous sensation. After staring at it for a very very long time (please note: after about 10 seconds Aidan had completely lost interest and crawled off into his tent), it suddenly hit me! This resembled the very early 90s karaoke videos, where the background consists of models walking around in bikinis staring into the sea with their arms up in the air in different positions (sometimes holding a sheet behind them flapping in the wind).

After much searching, I couldn't find any videos with bikini chicks staring into the seas but I found one wearing not much and posing on some fancy street. *See the below comparison*



I looked over to the boxset and saw that there were 10 DVDs inside. Which made me wonder.... has anyone child ever watched them all??? It must be very boring isn't it?? there are no middle age men in brightly coloured turtle neck top jumping around singing nor a pirate with a feather sword. I also highly doubt that toddlers can read such complex Chinese words, let alone have a karaoke session with it. I then came to the conclusion that the people who made it must have just paid some royalty to discovery channels and put in some teletext along with the music. Obviously a low cost and wide market penetration strategy (Oh.. my MBA is definitely paying off!). Maybe I can sell some of my home made cat clips to these people for some extra income? I think my cats have equal entertaining qualities.

Next up I put in a DVD called "Momo's happy valley 1" see below pic.

The DVD consisted of 7 singers plus one bright pink caterpillar (I think it looks like a caterpillar) called Momo. The 7 characters consisted of very intriguing names like Apple sister, Caramel brother, candy sister, butter brother, peach sister etc.. (I actually can't remember the names of the other 2 characters nor do I want to remember them). The background of the videos were all bright animations which were obviously inserted after filming. When the camera panned out on the entertainers, I did a double take.. They were wearing ultra mini tutus with knee high boots.

The sisters' hairs were dyed a wine red colour and they were all wearing heavy make up. Now, I am assuming Momo is a female because its colour is hot pink. However, it could be doing a Lady GaGa, i.e. a hermaphrodite and therefore would be quite happy living in the valley with those girls. At this point, I had to double check the DVD to make sure that it is suitable for a 15 month old.

These girls' whole ensemble led me to think about the age appropriateness question. Isn't this a kids show? Why are they sexing up a kids show? While I was pondering this question, Aidan started to bop to their first song. Ok.. I must admit, the first song is quite catchy.

After the first song had finished, this interlude came on with sister Candy talking in this childish baby voice. This made me wonder if she is special? does she have some sort of mental disability??? Did she get hypnotised to regress into her 3 yr old self?? humm.. intriguing...
Around the 5 minute mark the badly coloured bright animation background were starting to hurt my eyes and the continuing baby talk were starting to get on my nerves. I started looking at Aidan in hope to transmit a telepathic message telling him to *crawl away, crawl away, save your little brain*, so I can turn off the TV without feeling guilty for cutting off his entertainment.

Finally, after another 5 mins, I think Aidan got my telepathic message (or maybe he got uncomfortable with me staring at him) and to crawled off to play with his shape sorters. As I got up to turn off the TV, a song came on called "daddy superman". The sisters were telling the kids that they must tell their daddy "Daddy superman, you have worked so hard, can I give you a massage? You are the best, Daddy Superman!". HUMMM... I quickly picked up the DVD cover and checked the song titles and realised that Momo had neglected the mothers.

So.. Momo (I am assuming you are the boss in the happy valley because your name is featured in the title), as a soon-to-be MBA graduate, I believe your DVD is in need of a reform. Under the current economic conditions, I am sure your DVD sales are decreasing and have lost even more considerable market share to the pirated versions. Hence, I have summarised a few important strategic points to improve your sales:
1. Don't you know that mothers are the dominant buyers of children's goods in a family. You have to add songs of mums. e.g. Mummy wonderwoman - chorus " mummy wonderwoman, you have worked so hard, can I cook you a dinner? can I give you a foot massage? you are the greatest, mummy wonderwoman!"
2. Please have your female subordinates to talk like an adult, we don't want our kids to talk like they have mental disabilities when they get older.
3. Your female subordinates should really dress appropriately, e.g. black pants and bright coloured turtle necks (take a page out from the wiggles.. hint hint), or if you really want to sex it up, I believe knee length skirts with a nice pair of kitten heels is really the limit.
4. Your male subordinates should also be dressed appropriately, e.g. butter brother can be in a fireman's costume i.e. hot pants with suspender belts, a fireman hat and very importantly no shirt and remember to use baby oil on the body (using the moth theory, shiny objects attracts attention). As for Caramel brother, I think he is very much suited as a policeman i.e. tight bike shorts and once again very importantly, NO shirt and remember to apply the baby oil!

Just a suggestion... Rock on Momo!
BTW, I heard some tabloid rumour that Apple sister is quite hairy.